Entire Family with Lyme Disease

Do Dogs go to Heaven?

K H — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 23:17:33 +0000

Do Dogs go to Heaven? Hysterical! Absolutely unreal that this actually happened! These two churches face each other across a busy street.

How to tell if a Catholic is driving too fast

Jewish Olympic Swimmer?

Church can be hilarious!

The Woodpecker Might have to go!

May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
may nothing but happiness come through your door

Don’t take life so seriously!
DANCE

KISS A LOT!

RELAX IN NATURE

HAVE FUN

AND BE HAPPY!!!!
Make sure you scroll all the way down and read what is written.

Today is International Disturbed People’s Day

Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend… Just as I’ve done.

You hang in there sunshine, you’re special.

Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset or mad, is a full minute of happiness you’ll never get back..

Today’s Message of the Day is:

Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

Interesting fun Facts and a Good Read

K H — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:06:21 +0000

Did you know the saying "God willing and the Creek don’t rise" was in
reference to the Creek Indians and not a body of water? It was written
by Benjamin Hawkins in the late 18th century. He was a politician and
Indian diplomat. While in the south, Hawkins was requested by the
President of the U.S. To return to Washington . In his response, he
was said to write, "God willing and the Creek don’t rise." Because he
capitalized the word "Creek" it is deduced that he was referring to
the Creek Indian tribe and not a body of water.

*********************************

In George Washington’s days, there were no cameras. One’s image was
either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed
him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others
showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not
based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs
were to be painted. Arms and legs are ‘limbs,’ therefore painting them
would cost the buyer more. Hence the expression, ‘Okay, but it’ll cost
you an arm and a leg.’ (Artists know hands and arms are more difficult
to paint)

******************************

As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year
(May and October) Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved
their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men
could afford good wigs made from wool. They couldn’t wash the wigs, so
to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the
shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and
fluffy, hence the term ‘big wig… ‘ Today we often use the term ‘here
comes the Big Wig’ because someone appears to be or is powerful and
wealthy.

*********************************

In the late 1700′s, many houses consisted of a large room with only
one chair. Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and
was used for dining. The ‘head of the household’ always sat in the
chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor. Occasionally a
guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair
during a meal.. To sit in the chair meant you were important and in
charge. They called the one sitting in the chair the ‘chair man.’
Today in business, we use the expression or title ‘Chairman’ or
‘Chairman of the Board.’

*********************************

Personal hygiene left much room for improvement.. As a result, many
women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would
spread bee’s wax over their facial skin to smooth out their
complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began
to stare at another woman’s face she was told, ‘mind your own bee’s
wax.’ Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term
‘crack a smile’. In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the
wax would melt . .. . Therefore, the expression ‘losing face.’

*********************************

Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and
dignified woman, as in ‘straight laced’ wore a tightly tied lace..

*********************************

Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax
levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the ‘Ace
of Spades…’ To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards
instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were
thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren’t ‘playing with a full
deck..’

********************************

Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what
the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TV’s
or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns,
pubs, and bars. They were told to ‘go sip some Ale and listen to
people’s conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were
dispatched at different times. ‘You go sip here’ and ‘You go sip
there.’ The two words ‘go sip’ were eventually combined when referring
to the local opinion and, thus we have the term ‘gossip.’

**********************************

At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint and
quart-sized containers. A bar maid’s job was to keep an eye on the
customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention
and remember who was drinking in ‘pints’ and who was drinking in
‘quarts,’ hence the phrase ‘minding your ‘P’s and Q’s’.

**********************************

One more: bet you didn’t know this!

In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters
carried iron cannons. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls. It
was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon. However, how to
prevent them from rolling about the deck? The best storage method
devised was a square-based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on
four resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30
cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the
cannon. There was only one problem…..how to prevent the bottom layer
from sliding or rolling from under the others. The solution was a
metal plate called a ‘Monkey’ with 16 round indentations. However, if
this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it.
The solution to the rusting problem was to make ‘Brass Monkeys.’ Few
landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster
than iron when chilled.. Consequently, when the temperature dropped
too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron
cannonballs would come right off the monkey; Thus, it was quite
literally, ‘Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.’ (All
this time, you thought that was an improper expression, didn’t you.)

If you don’t send this fabulous bit of historic knowledge to any and
all your unsuspecting friends, your hard drive will kill your mouse.

Global Facts About Sex…

K H — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 23:12:49 +0000

Subject: Global Facts About Sex…

At Any Given Moment:

FACT: 79,000,000 people are engaged in sex – right now!

FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.

FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.

FACT: 1 elderly person is reading emails.

You hang in there, Sunshine ………

Uh oh….here it comes….

K H — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 23:10:30 +0000

Winter Weather Advisory Issued for Loudoun County, LCSO Offers Winter Weather Driving Safety Tips
Loudoun County, VA – A winter weather advisory is in effect for the area and the Loudoun County Sheriff’s Office is reminding motorists that winter driving can be hazardous, especially in our area where we normally receive a mixture of ice, freezing rain and snow.
The agency is advising motorists to make sure their vehicles are equipped with a well-stocked winter driving kit. A winter driving kit should include the following items:
•Properly fitting tire chains
•Bag of sand or salt (or kitty litter) •Tow Straps •Traction mats •Snow shovel •Snow brush •Ice scraper •Booster cables •Warning devices such as flares or emergency lights •Fuel line de-icer (methanol, also called methyl alcohol or methyl hydrate) •Extra windshield wiper fluid appropriate for sub-freezing temperatures •Roll of paper towels •Flashlight and a portable flashing light (and extra batteries) •Blanket •Extra clothing, including hat and wind-proof pants, and warm footwear •First aid kit •Snack bars or other “emergency” food and water •Matches and emergency candles. Only use these with a window opened to prevent build-up of carbon monoxide. •Road maps
•”Call Police” or other help signs or brightly colored banners.

The Loudoun Sheriff’s Office reminds motorists to stay safe in the winter by also following these driving safety tips:
Always keep the gas tank topped off. When it gets to half, fill it up.
Do not travel unless absolutely necessary. If you do have to make the trip, ensure someone is aware of your route of travel.
Carry a cellular phone. Your cell phone can be used during emergencies and for notifying those expecting your arrival in case there are weather delays.
Always buckle-up. Your seat belt can be the best protection against drivers who are tense and in a hurry because of weather conditions.
Clear snow and ice from all windows and lights – even the hood and roof – before driving.
Pay attention. Don’t try to out-drive the conditions. Remember the posted speed limits are for dry pavement.
Leave plenty of room for stopping.

Leave room for maintenance vehicles and plows – stay back a safe stopping distance and don’t pass on the right.
Know the current road conditions: http://511virginia.org/Default.aspx; for statewide highway information 24-hours-a-day, call the Highway Helpline at 1-800-367-ROAD or check local traffic incident information at www.loudoun.gov/traffic (www.loudoun.gov/mobiletraffic via your web browsing cell phone).
Use brakes carefully. Brake early. Brake correctly. It takes more time to stop in adverse conditions.
Watch for slippery bridges, even when the rest of the pavement is in good condition. Bridges will ice up sooner than the adjacent pavement.
Don’t use your cruise control in wintry conditions. Even roads that appear clear can have sudden slippery spots and the short touch of your brakes to deactivate the cruise control feature can cause you to lose control of your vehicle.
Don’t get overconfident in your 4×4 vehicle. Remember that your four-wheel drive vehicle may help you get going quicker than other vehicles but it won’t help you stop any faster. Many 4×4 vehicles are heavier than passenger vehicles and actually may take longer to stop. Don’t get overconfident in your 4×4 vehicle’s traction. Your 4×4 can lose traction as quickly as a two-wheel drive vehicle.
Do not pump anti-lock brakes. If your car is equipped with anti-lock brakes, do not pump brakes in attempting to stop. The right way is to “stomp and steer!”
Look farther ahead in traffic than you normally do. Actions by cars and trucks will alert you quicker to problems and give you a split-second extra time to react safely.
Remember that trucks are heavier than cars. Trucks take longer to safely respond and come to a complete stop, so avoid cutting quickly in front of them.
Go Slow!

###

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Life is tough when you are stupid….

K H — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 01:36:48 +0000

Did we elect these people??

Civil War planes? Let me know how that works out.

I’m saying GREAT paint job.

‘ We had no idea anyone was buried there.’

I didn’t know we could choose.

This one says it all.

What are the odds of that?

I would have guessed after age 19.

Ok, that’s just mean!

"Life’s tough….. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid." John Wayne

neologism contest

K H — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 01:34:33 +0000

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in

your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

The winners are:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

0 % on an exam

K H — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 01:33:40 +0000

She should get something for “creative’.

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page

3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams

6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half

8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet

9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in

other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands

12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.

13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Picture: Sophia “Sophie” Marie Flowers (Hausfeld)

K H — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 20:41:37 +0000

From: Karen Hausfeld [mailto:khausfeld@lucketts.net]
Sent: Wednesday, January 18, 2012 3:35 PM
To: ‘Lisa V. Proulx’
Subject: RE: Sophia "Sophie" Marie Flowers (Hausfeld)

Miss Sophia (“Sophie” Flowers) was born to proud parents Nick and Kelley Hausfeld Flowers of Purcellville on 1-13-2012. Proud grandparents are Tim and Karen Hausfeld of Lovettsville, Kathy Barrett of Purcellville, and Steve and Patti Flowers of Round Hill, Va. Sophie made her debut at 4:50 pm weighing in at 6 # 10 oz. and 18” long (though 2 ½ weeks early.) Almost all of the waiting room were people waiting for this one little baby. Mother, father and baby are doing well, all concerned are on cloud nine!

Top Baby Names of 2011 (Parenting)

K H — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 00:30:18 +0000

Most Common Baby Names of 2011

Top 10 Boy Baby Names of 2011

1.Liam

2.Jacob

3.Mason

4.Ethan

5.Aiden

6.Logan

7.Noah

8.Jayden

9.Lucas

10.Joshua

Top 10 Girl Baby Names of 2011

1.Sophia

2.Emma

3.Isabella

4.Olivia

5.Chloe

6.Madison

7.Ava

8.Abigail

9.Lily

10.Emily

Arrival of Sophia “Sophie” Marie Flowers (Hausfeld

K H — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 10:53:19 +0000

Subject: Sophia "Sophie" Marie Flowers (Hausfeld
Importance: High

Everyone, Sophie arrived at 4:50 pm yesterday afternoon. Nick &Iwere each right there & got to witness the tiny miracle coming into this world. Cell phone service for the hospital was spotty at best so I am sorry I was not able to call each of you directly as I meant to, and Kelley wanted me right there with her the whole time. There was ½ the waiting room filled with people waiting to see the angel & her absolutely thrilled parents. Nick is over the moon. Kelley is excited too but was so tired last night after her adrenal rush crashed. Visiting hours start at 1100 am and I would love to see you there. She was in rm 163 Labor & Delivery but she was being moved as we left. She’ll be there thru Sunday.

Sophie is PERFECT. She looks almost exactly like Kelley did. 6# 10 oz., 18” long, not at all a preemie but “fully done.” It will be great as she develops some of Nick’s good looks as well as Kelley’s beauty. You REALLY should you go see her if you possibly can. Loudoun Hospital Birthing Inn, Loudoun’s # is 703-858-6000. I’m a Nana!! My folks are great grandparents….Kenny is a great uncle. Only wish my grandmother were here!!

Love to all, Karen

PS DA pls call Lynn as she doesn’t ck her email so often on weekends! Pls call Katelyn as well. Thanks…LOVE YOU

Karen, I have been keeping Kelley in my thoughts and prayers. Please let us know how Kelley and baby Sophie are doing when you get a chance.

Diana

On Wed, Jan 11, 2012 at 9:11 AM, Karen Hausfeld wrote:

Kelley will be going in tomorrow night for a procedure to help labor along and the next morning (yes, Friday the 13th…) she will be induced in the morning (due to the awful gallbladder issues- 7 trips to the ER and a hospital stay) and we should have baby Sophia “Sophie”) Marie Flowers to hold that day/night! If you call the hospital to check (Loudoun, 703-858-6000) she’s under her maiden name …we have not made it to Social Security to change her name to Flowers yet… She’s almost 38 weeks so it is considered full term, but I will be so relieved to have this part over, I’ll be right there at the hospital for the duration. Thanks everyone!

“Nana” Karen

PS Happy B-day Friday Cindy C.!!